Five Psalms from the Front

(Extracted from unpublished book "Psalms from the Front")

Once a warrior, now just a vet

Across the fence, out past the wire

A foreboding land hides hope and doom

A warrior fights true evil's empire

Nights done, days come, hurry back, sleep soon?

With spirit spent comes fitful dreams

of blood spilt, lives saved and taken

Awake he fights on without reprieve

Lest evil reclaim hard victories forsaken.

Tour ends not with final victory

But when last battle's won

Death's deadly traps slipped narrowly

The warrior's fight seems done.

Citizens in public light

say 'Thank you for your service'

But hollow praise turns strangely quiet

When scarred warrior has served his purpose.

An alien to civilian life

'Vet for hire' garners no takers

Protected citizens far removed from strife

Reject risky vet, for sure movers and shakers

Still, the vet struggles to find his way,

Life absent both foe and friend

A new enemy stalks the veteran's days

mundane existence without end.

~

No noble purposes to guide,

No brother comrades by his side,

He trudges through a dim grayed out existence

The days seem dull without the fight

His greatest fears are sleepless nights

Where bloody cries, and desperate brawls, awake memory's lone witness.

But still he carries on,

His family now his true life's song

He fights each day to find his way, and keep the ghosts deeply buried

He bore wars' full weight for thee

He fought the good fight to keep you free

Remember and honor! before to heaven his warrior spirit's carried.

---

Nightmare

Sweat soaked clothes stick to fevered dreams

Sleep clings to suffocate my desperate climb to consciousness

Heartbeat hammers silently yet deafens the strangled screams for help

Frozen hands clasp tangled fingers round my lean appendages

I fight unseen grasping constrictors

I struggle to do what must be done!

what no one else can do,

to stop what only I can see...

yea not see, but inexplicably sense!

No one else notices the evil about to strike!

To take life's fragile ebb and flow and strip it

Like delicious horrible succor to evil’s unquenchable thirst

The innocent walk unsuspecting

Straight towards the chasm of death's excruciating embrace

I fight the unseen enemy's clutch,

gasping

trying to shout warning

To hurl myself in one last desperate lunge

to break the grasp of death horde’s plunging, fatal blow,

Not to save myself!

No!

To save the beloved innocents,

They do not even fathom the ancient evil's monstrous uncoiling!

Launching dread and violence laced hatred

Painfully slow yet inexorably unavoidable

Watch out!

Move!

Run!

Defend!

I must intercept

I will not make it in time!

Cry out!

Desperately!

Why can I not scream!

Why can they not hear!

The evil maw sucks in and consumes my own breaths cannon

I gasp silently in frozen horror

I see yet I cannot alter

I shout but cannot give warning

I try to shut my eyes, to forget what only I can see

But I am not allowed to look away

It would be too close to mercy and evil has none

No one else sees the danger

They walk oblivious to the eminent doom.

It will not be quick

NO!

Try again!

Move!

Scream!

Thrust!

Squeeze!

Explode!

against the unseen monster's frozen grasp

Tighter it grips,

Scratching, clawing, clutching like a thousand insects,

it drags me down

It holds back all

movement

sound

action

Awake! Awake?... awake

Evil not defeated.

Just beyond the edge of darkness

Remorseless silent laughs from disembodied drunken demons

just out of sight

Heart races

no one to talk to

they will not believe

Fake sleep and pray for the dawn

---

Hold

Hold

For the sake of those that can’t defend

Hold

For all the battles that rage on without an end

Hold

For home and country, for family and friend

Hold

Hold

When foes would take away our liberty

Hold

When citizens forget what we do for thee

Hold

When our cause is just but lost in bureaucracy

Hold

Hold

Until the blessings of our freedom breathes life again

Hold

Until the next generation understands why we fight for them

Hold

Until the last ounce of our devotion, life loving sacrifice spends

Hold

Hold

That all the good defeats the evil and justice rights the wronged

Hold

That all the people might see our selflessness is not a weakness, but makes us strong

Hold

That we might be beacon to friend and foe, “Here we stand united,” and with last breath sing Freedom’s song

Hold

---

Lay me down

Oh dearest brother comrades come lay me down

When all my battles’ end is reached at last

Mourn not for life I missed and could have found

Instead drink deep the life I led and cast

For all must reach their final destined place

We sail our charted path embrace each choice

To live life somberly or zest embrace

To meekly walk or with each charge rejoice

I have ever chosen less traveled path

To serve my neighbors dear and truth respect

Peaceful heart must stand against evil’s lash

Soldier on our priceless freedom protect

Yet through the tumultu’ous life I’ve led

I witnessed miraculous wondrous things

Amongst war’s macabre ruthless bloodshed

Foes terror eclipsed, courageous love sings

Fight for the good for the truth to the last

I’ve done all I can, my piece of the quest

Stood firm, kept faith with our forefathers past

So lay me down dear brothers in honored rest

---

Survivors Cry

O God, my God, why have you cursed me with life when all my brothers are lost?

Why did you not let me sleep with them, the sleep of heroes, the dreams of peace without end?

Why did you let them die and yet I live, never to forget the lives lost, brutally ripped from good men by evil’s own sons? Now I have no refuge, I have no comfort, for I cannot rest my weary head on their bosom, I cannot rely on their abundant strength when I grow weak. They cannot come to my aid when I am hard pressed. I am alone. O God, where will I find safety and when will I find peace?

Oh, my son, my child, don’t you know your brothers are with me now? They are not lost, they are found! They eat at the King’s table, their cup is full of the finest wine, and they drink and sing songs to the Most High God who has made their way straight, their path easy. His home is their home, they do not sleep, they live! And they are with me. Fear not, for they wait for you to come, but they know it is not yet your time. I am with them, but I am also with you. I know the depths of your loss, and I know the pain that you suffer. Look, see where the nails pierced my hands and feet. Remember the scourge of the whip and the crown of thorns that ripped my flesh. All these things I endured for you. Focus on me. I am with you. When you sleep and the enemy threatens your dreams, I am there. When you wake and struggle for purpose just to breathe, I breathe the breath of life in you, and it is good and clean and sweetly scented. When the nights are long and dark and the enemy lies softly in your ear, of friends gone and soon you will be, I am there to defend you. I am the light of the world and I expose these lies of the evil one. He cannot stand before me for I wield the Sword of Truth and wear the Crown of Righteousness. The enemy flees before me, his lies of woe and his tales of ruin turn back upon himself as his destruction is assured. He is already defeated. You and your brothers are already victorious in Me. Look to Me, I never leave you, I never forsake you, I never fail you, I never stop loving you. I, am your strength, for indeed, you are My child. I am not finished with you yet in this life and I will bring you safely home to your brothers when you are done. They will rejoice and you will live with Me, my son, for evermore.

Selah